My story

It all started on Wednesday 9th of March 2005.

She was feeling strange and a bit uncomfortable it's not yet the baby's due date, she wondered. Still, today was a typical antenatal day, so she went to the hospital to get the baby checked as usual.

While getting checked, she noticed the nurses were carrying a concerned face, and she started feeling a bit scared. After a while, the doctor came in and said: "Madam, don't worry, you and your baby will be fine, but we have to operate because the Amniotic fluid the baby need for continual survival is gone and also, the baby is very weak now". She was shocked and didn't know what to say. The doctor said, "didn't you notice a fluid coming out from you".

No, she replied.

Ok, madam, we need to operate you as soon as possible.

Around 7 p.m., the operation ended, and a chubby baby girl was born.

She was named after her paternal grandmother Hajara.

The baby was me; I am the baby.

My name is Hajara, and I am from Nigeria.

Yeah, I'm a chubby girl. As I said earlier, a chubby baby girl was born. And it took me time to accept my body because of the high crazy beauty standard in my society.

You are too fat, and you need to lose some weight are words I have gotten used to with time.

Everybody around me always complained about my body as if it was affecting them somehow,

which made me feel worthless and low.

All my friends used to taunt me because of my body; being ridiculed became something part of me every day. I could clearly remember when one of my classmates in senior secondary school told me right in my face that I was shapeless. All the girls look like figure eight, but you look like a stick figure. You are figure 11, she said in a mocking voice.

People keep saying mean things about my body, and I slowly begin to hate my body. I hate my big belly and everything about my body. I started wishing my body was like other skinny girls I know.

To some extent, I started drinking concoctions to look slim to fit with the crazy beauty standards.

It was like everyone trying to mock me indirectly, I remember one of our neighbours saw me on the street, and I greeted her. She was like, I thought it was a married woman with kids coming. I didn't know what to say. I just smiled at her and left, but the statement hurt me dip down.

My life was just on people mocking me, making me worthless and degraded. It got to an extent where I wished I never even came to this cruel world or could leave the world in peace.

Yes, it got to that extent, and society put me in that position.

I continued sadly with all hope gone, and I was trying to mask my sadness behind my smile. I sometimes cry alone, but if there is something I have learnt in the past few years is "When you are sad, cry hard but when you finish crying, make sure you never cry for the reason again". That was like a guide for me. Anytime I want to cry because I am chubby, I will tell myself, you have cried enough, and I will push all tears back.

It wasn't an easy journey, but a ray of hope came into my life one day.

That ray of hope was a documentary I watched about girls fed forcefully to be fat in Mauritania. When I watched the documentary, I was shocked because these were beautiful skinny girls who were forced to eat many carbs to become like me. I never imagined that's somewhere in this world; they would be girls who I adore their body, wanting to be like me that constantly get taunted every day.

The documentary made me understand no one is ugly. Also, there is nothing like your body is not perfect. It's just the society you find yourself in currently.

If those Mauritania girls came to my society, they would be adored and celebrated and called beautiful. If I should go to their society, I would also be called beautiful, and many people will be like I'm gorgeous.

So the problem is not with you. It's from the society creating beauty standards that do not worth it.

You are not ugly to all chubby girls struggling out there; you are just in the wrong society that does not appreciate your body. There is a society that would love and adore your body, while the society you are in right now taunts you for being you.

You have to accept yourself and love yourself no matter how you look.

And also, remember something if you become too skinny today, the world will blame you and ask you why are you so thin. Don't you even eat anything at all?

And this is what I have to say to all girls, ladies, and women out there chubby, skinny, too skinny, slim, short, tall, or too tall.

Just accept yourself for who you are. The one who created you knows the best for you.

So you should accept yourself first and don't care about what other people think if you start to accept yourself and know the best reply to give to those who say "you are too whatsoever".

They want to bring you down.

Just remember being down starts from you do not bring yourself down for any reason.

Yes, I know it's good to do some exercise to make you stay fit. If you want to do that, do it because of your health but do not ever do that because you want to fit into a crazy beauty standard.

Be yourself, live a healthy life, be happy, and you is all that matters in life.